Bequia Travel Report -Pics on Travelprotales

Where and what is Bequia and why have so few people heard of it? The simple answer is that it is one of the Grenadine islands in the Caribbean just south of St Vincent, a little north of Grenada and about 35 minutes flight west of Barbados. It is quite small but remarkably full of all the pleasures and amenities people look for on holiday. Why have so few people heard of it? It is probably because it has a small airport and nowhere for cruise ships to dock. It is literally an unspoilt gem of a place.

We first found it about 3 years ago. The attractions of Barbados, Antigua, Tobago and St Lucia were beginning to fade as their popularity grew so we set out to find places that still reflect the charm of the Caribbean. Somewhere that did not have mass tourism but was still civilised, welcoming and reasonably easy to get to. Previously we discovered Anguilla that fits the bill perfectly but now we wanted to see if there were any more out there.

Our ‘must have’ list was not huge but important to us and included the following:
A secure place with n
ice welcoming people. We did not want to be robbed, abused or snarled at on holiday.
A scenically pretty island with plenty of beaches and picturesque countryside.In other words a place that is welcoming to the eye.

We like to eat out on holidays so we searched for a place that had a diversity of restaurants from local bars to fine dining.

Accommodation to be comfortable in. We did not want crowds so we looked for something more boutique in size with air conditioning, a nice pool and alongside a beach. Somewhere you could really chill out in comfort.

Our first visit to Bequia those few years ago met all these criteria except for accommodation. The island is full of reasonably priced villas to rent and small hotels with basic amenities but we wanted to spoil ourselves. We moved into a hotel that was clearly perfect for us but unfortunately we did not listen to the owners when they said it was still being developed. We lasted only three days but vowed to return when it was finished and this is what we have just done.
So here is the story of our trip to what we hoped would be paradise. I think most will agree when I say there is a lot to know when you visit somewhere for the first time so I will pack my story with lots of detail which you can choose to absorb or ignore!
Obviously getting there is the first part. We flew from Gatwick to Barbados on Virgin in their Upper Class cabin. We chose them because they leave slightly earlier (1030) than British Airways and we had booked a connection separately on SVG airlines. I am glad we did because it gave us the necessary time buffer in Barbados and also BA have been cancelling and delaying their services to Bridgetown recently.
The flight was rather nice. Having got over the strange feeling of sitting 45 degrees to the direction of travel we enjoyed the service. The staff were good, the seats comfortable to sit in, there were plenty of drinks and they had been discreet in the way they had upgraded people into the cabin.
Every airline I know overbooks their economy cabin to holiday destinations as there is simply not enough business folk or higher fare payers to fill the front cabins. There is no way they can alter cabin size or seat types on big jets so they overbook and leave it to the day of departure to sort out. Who gets upgraded can be a bit of a lottery and often staff are assigned the task to walk around the gate area and choose likely folk. If you want an upgrade I suggest you dress smartly and make smiling eye contact with any staff that seem to be looking for someone! Other times the staff are likely to upgrade their friends and other airline staff. In my experience this happens a lot with BA at Gatwick.
The flight left bang on schedule and arrived early. In Bridgetown you walk off the aircraft and, as you are about to enter the building, you will be met by a representative of SVG (St Vincent and Grenadine Air Alliance) who will be holding a placard with names on it and taken to their transfer desk. There they will process your transfer and guide you to the departure lounge.
You will need to have completed a Barbados landing card even if you are in transit. They will also get your bag for you and put it on their aircraft. It will help enormously if you make your bags easily identifiable. I tied a yellow ribbon on bag handles (SVG colours are yellow) and took a picture of them to give to the transfer guy. It worked like a dream and they were the first found. If you are getting hot and thirsty by this time then either bring some EC$ (East Caribbean Dollars) or US$ as the stalls there accept both.
The connection flight will go on time. It has to because the smaller island airports do not have landing lights and shut around 1730. They usually operate De Haveland Twin Otter aircraft which are sturdy and safe but rather noisy. As we taxied out we saw the delayed BA flight landing which meant all their connecting passengers would waste a night of their holiday in Barbados.
The flight was scenic and uneventful and 35 minutes later we were approaching Bequia airport. A word of warning here. Not only do these island airports have no lights but they can be subject to crosswinds and Bequia is no exception. You land right next to some hills and often the wind hits the hill and bounces back. Do not worry! This is normal and the pilots are entirely ready for it even if you might not be!
So there we were. A seamless hassle free pair of flights and safely in Bequia. So what was it like? Well it is not huge. In fact it is probably about 6/8 square miles in total and less than 5000 people live there. They all seem to know or be related to each other in some way which helps keep community spirit high and crime low.
Anyway, I am starting to digress! Immigration and customs at the tiny airport are probably more thorough than Gatwick or Bridgetown. They take their job very seriously and do it thoroughly. Make sure you have filled in your arrival form; smile and you should get through without too much hassle. After all, if you had a job where you hung around all day for a very few small flights you would want to do it thoroughly to prevent terminal boredom.
The transport was waiting. It consisted of a man who was grinning from ear to ear and a canvas covered pick-up truck. We piled into the back and weaved down the road to our hotel. A hire car had been delivered to the hotel for us. If you send them a print of your license in advance they will queue up and get your local permit for EC$50. Do it as otherwise standing in line yourself is a pain. Did we really need a car? No. If we took taxis every time we needed them it would be cheaper than paying for your own vehicle to sit in the hotel parking lot. It is convenient though!
The Bequia Beach Hotel was everything we hoped it would be. What had been a building site is now a small but immaculate hotel resort with free form pool, spa, and beach restaurant. Everything seems new and clean including the pool and beach chairs and I admit we were very impressed…and not a little relieved. The food was good and so was the limited entertainment they provide. Everything is low key, relaxed and high quality, in fact very Swedish. The GM is a beautiful (in every sense of the word!) Swedish lady called Carina Peterssen and she was always around to take care of her guests. You want something? Just phone reception and a cheerful lady will get it for you.
They have a range of rooms there. We stayed in a beachfront suite which was exactly that. The room faced the sea which was no more than 30 feet away. We chose the first floor so that it was both quiet and perfect for sundown balcony drinks. Other rooms are all comfortable and they also have three villas you can hire as well. All plugs there are British three pin and the current is 220 volts so no adapters needed for the Brits. Those that do need them can borrow some from reception. Bottled water is best and you get free bottles to start you off when you arrive.
We were too lazy to try the spa and immersed ourselves in our Kindles instead. There are plenty of sun shades around the pool and trees next to the beach to shelter under if you wish. The bar is close by and they occasionally check to see that you do not dehydrate! The local beer is Hairoun which tastes better every time you try one.
WE had an unforgettable time there and made lots of new friends. OK there is no room service but, if you need it, pick up the phone and it will come. There are no real water sports but hey, do you really want to jet- ski and they will lend you flippers? There is no TV in most of the rooms but to me that was an asset! The best description of the place would be that you are a 5 star house guest of some very nice friends
The best part was the people. Apart from the lovely Carina there were the guys and girls in the bar and restaurants. So thanks Ozan, Colin Garvey ,Bridget, Daria and all of you for an unforgettable stay. By the end I even had the barmen buying me drinks. You don’t get better than that!
We ate in the hotel a lot, not just because we were staying in the hotel but because the food and service were so very good. They seem to have imported some very good chefs which combined with a very promising local lady turn out exceptional meals. We probably had 12 breakfasts, 8 lunches and 6 dinners here and not one was poor.
The lunch menu stays near the same with at least a couple of daily specials like pasta and fajitas. Otherwise they have burgers that make you drool and all sorts of club, bookmaker and fish ‘sandwiches’. Do not be fooled, they are not sandwiches in the traditional sense but tasty variations on a theme.
Evening meals were different each night and you can eat all kinds of fish, meat and salads. They were all good. And the desserts?! Wow, they were great. They have both a lobster and a barbeque night. Lobster was on Saturday and cost EC$116 (UK£26.50 each) for two courses. They are fresh because we saw the fishermen delivering them when we sat by the pool! The barbecue night was not that expensive and you have a choice of beautifully marinated steak, fish and chicken. Average lunch courses cost EC$55 (UK£12.59). Continental Breakfast EC$30 (UK£6.87) and cooked breakfast would increase this to about EC$50 (UK£11.45).
We also tried quite a few local restaurants which were very good considering the size of the island. Most were concentrated around the ‘capital’ Port Elizabeth. The ‘city’ has two main roads imaginatively called front street and back street with a few intersecting streets. The main supermarket for the island is called Knights and you can get most things there. Knight’s is on the corner of Back Street and the main intersecting lane. Further up is the Pharmacy, Hospital, Police Station and Doctor. We had to see the Doctor with ear infections and he prescribed antibiotics that would stop a charging Rhino in its tracks. It fixed us but boy the toilet visits were ‘interesting.
Many of the bars and restaurants are on the Belmont Walkway. This is a five foot wide strip of a path that creeps between the harbour itself and the mainland. It fell apart in a storm but has now been rebuilt and is better than ever. Here are some that we ate at:
Tommy’s Cantina – A nice reasonably priced place to eat
You can find Tommy’s right at the entrance to the Belmont Walkway. It is nothing pretentious and can get quite busy. We sat next to the rail overlooking the sea in wooden seats (no cushions) and watched the world go by. Do not expect gourmet food here but if you want something basic but tasty and not as pricey as some it is worth a try. The service was friendly and helpful and they will give you food to go. We had 4 beers, Goats Cheese Salad and Grilled Chicken for EC$98 or UK£22.44
Macs Pizza - Didn't want to go but glad I did
This is nuts. I don’t go to pizza restaurants, hell I don’t even like cheese! Nevertheless we went, mainly because of its good reviews and I am very glad we did. These pizzas are VERY well cooked and come in three sizes (9”,13” and 15”) and they will even do a delicious creation without cheese if you ask. There were a huge choice of fillings as well as wraps and sandwiches and, if you cannot finish (you won’t) then take it away in a box.
The place is nearly at the end of the Belmont walkway and is charming to look at and sit in. You can stop on the road high up behind it and go down some special steps to collect a takeaway. If eating there I recommend you sit at the upper level of the restaurant as it catches more of any breeze. It is also a good place to meet local people and we enjoyed a pleasant evening next to our hotel security guard and his wife and child. Cost for 3 rum punches and a 9” and 13” pizza was EC$160 or UK£36.64
Papas Bar – Best bar on the island
This place is sometimes billed as a ‘sports’ bar which I am sure will put as many people off as it attracts but it is much more than that. Yes they do show all sorts of sport from cricket to rugby to NFL to Baseball but mainly on request and only in one area. The rest of the place has panoramic views, good service and decent well priced food. It is perched overlooking the harbour on the left hand side of the road passing the ferry docking pier. You can sit and eat indoors or al fresco on its large balcony. We sat outside watching a children’s dinghy race, drinking rum punches and enjoying some burgers and salad. When we left they charged us $110 which I thought was pretty steep but, as I left, the waitress chased after me saying that I had paid far too many US$ as the price was in EC$. Nice and honest and well appreciated. A great place.
Jacks Place – Very pretty and relaxing
If you want an interesting picture postcard type of place you will not be disappointed. It is very well laid out and overlooks one of the best beaches on the island. They will let you use their beach sun loungers if you eat there which is a nice touch and it is owned by the group who operate Papas and Devils Table.
We had Barracuda and chips as well as pork loin. To be frank the pork loin was rather bland and dry but the fish was very tasty. For some reason many places in the island tend to overcook their meat. So the food was adequate, it was scenically stunning and the people were nice. You need to take a narrow steep track down the hill to it and parking is a little limited. Probably a taxi might be best.

Devils Table - A difficult one to critique
This is a hard one because I met one of the management while having a drink in Papas Bar (they run it too). He was telling me how unfair some of the criticism was about the Devils Table and how he suspected some of it was malicious and possibly local. I told him we would eat there and give an honest personal view and here it is.
This place is visually sumptuous and fun to the eye. It looks like something out of Pirates of the Caribbean which we enjoyed. The setting is perfect too as it seems built into the side of the rocks and has all sorts of nooks and crannies. It is a place to sit back and relax and, unless you take yourself very seriously, a place to chill and enjoy. So that is the best part.
The less special part was the food and I urge them to look harder at this aspect of their service. My wife had baby ribs and I had rib-eye steak. Both were not really up to standard compared with the rest of the island. My steak was dry and poor quality and the ribs were inedible. Sorry Mr Owner sir but they were. They were cooked to dryness and smothered in a dry burnt pepper crust which was not nice. As a contrast the chips and Christophine gratin was spot on. Yet there was a kind of macaroni pie that was truly horrid in a dehydrated sort of way.
The price for our evening which included the two mains and 5 rum punches (we became very thirsty) was EC$233 (UK£ 53.36) so it was not exactly cheap. So my verdict was that the place was great and has fabulous potential and I wish I was there sipping yet another rum punch. I would however recommend that you should monitor your meals more closely before they go out. I would also suggest you allow more space between tables.
Finally, how about putting a sign by the road showing where you are. I bet many like me did not realise you are up that side road between Coco’s and the beach and you have parking available.
p.s. your expat locals do seem to scorn island visitors but I expect there is not much you can do about that!
Whaleboner – Thar she blows!
Now this is an interesting place and something I have never seen before. It is about half way along the Belmont Walkway and entered through what looks like an arch made up from whale ribs. The bar itself has another ‘rib’ built into it and the bar stools are made from what appears are whale vertebrae. The rum punches are wicked and the place becomes hard to leave if you settle there! The drinks are very nice, bar staff charming and it is positioned next to a dinghy park which is wonderful for late evening ‘entertainment’ as yachties return to their crafts. It is both open air and sheltered and has a boutique and restaurant attached We did not eat as the menu was frankly pretty average.
A great place to chill and relax. Good luck getting home!
L’Auberge Des Grenadines – Not much changes
The last time we went to this restaurant was about 3/4 years ago and I was looking forward to see how it had developed since then. The answer was not at all. The menu was the same as was the décor. Even the owner appeared the same as he sat in his corner bar stool looking cool, French, and not very visitor friendly. There was a jazz trio with a good guitarist a most adequate lady saxophonist and a distinctly strange keyboard vocalist that looked just like Zoot in the Muppet Show. They actually were rather good except for some laden remarks from ‘Zoot’ if we did not applaud loud enough! It was not crowded so we had to do a lot of clapping to keep him happy.
The starters were excellent and we had the same as our first visit which was Calalou soup and Onion soup and they were first class. We began to relax so ordered wine and water and two lobster mains fresh from the tank. My wife had to hide her eyes as a struggling lobster was plucked from its pool. Sadly it might have died in vain as. Like a lot of things on the island it was a bit dry but I enjoyed mine at least.
By this time the owner’ regular drinkers turned up to join him at the bar. I am sure I recognised some from last time! We certainly started to feel like outsiders at a private party as the bar got louder and louder with much posturing and teasing going on. In fact we paid our bill and slunk off without a farewell from good old Jacques but EC$410 lighter (£93.89). For that price a mere acknowledgement of existence would have been appreciated!
All in all it was great to have so many different places to eat and we barely scratched the surface. There is a place called Fernando we never got to. This is like the front porch of a house where this guy Fernando goes fishing in the morning and cooks it for ‘house guests’ in the evenings. Absolutely brilliant apparently but we never made it. Coco’s is another fun relaxing place that we missed. Many are hard to find so just ask anyone and they will tell you. You will love it I promise.
I hope we have identified that you will not starve on this island. But what about activities? What is there to do and see? Perhaps unsurprisingly there is not a vast amount apart from greenery and beautiful beaches. By the way the best beaches are Lower Bay, Princess Margaret’s Bay, Friendship Bay (where our hotel was) and Industry Bay.
If you want something different visit The Old Heg Turtle Sanctuary. This is a place at the furthest tip of the island run by a guy called Brother King. He both rescues and breeds turtles to a point where they are ready to release back into the sea. This guy must talk about it thousands of times but you can still feel the passion and dedication in him. The island used to be a local centre for the whaling industry and that is what most of the fishermen used to do. He is trying to convert them in to more eco-friendly activities. Entry is free but please make a small donation.

As with all good things our holiday came to an end. We travelled in late November early December and stayed at the Bequia Beach Hotel. The weather was brilliant with only two rain showers which was quite a change from the alarmist forecast that said rain every day.
The flights back were tedious but relatively uneventful. You need to totally clear customs and immigration in Barbados so fill in all those forms! If you want to use a lounge in Bridgetown there is still only one and it is not very nice. All the BA, Virgin, American, Air Canada folk all pile in it. Flying overnight on Virgin was a bit disappointing. Their very new flat beds are not as comfortable as the old ones and their flat pillow means your head is lower than your feet! Turbulence was bad (a seasonal thing) but service was better than BA.
You may have already guessed that we love Bequia. And we will go back. It is how you expect the Caribbean used to be before the crowds moved in. The people are nice and you feel safe there. The scenery is stunning and the sea beguiling.
If you want to know more then send me an email!

The Mechanics of Business Travel - Part 2

OK, where was I? I had just explained the first major evolutionary development in the travel cycle which was the demise of airline commissions resulting in TMCs (Travel Agents) presenting bills to clients rather than incentive cheques. This resulted in sweeping changes in the major travel markets although some of the smaller airlines still paid commissions to remain competitive.

In fact in some regions of the world this change is yet to happen. Some might think that companies would be 'up in arms' over the change but most welcomed it . You see, from a buyers perspective it is better to negotiate from a net price than a commodity that has built in add-ons already especially if you might consider some of them unnecessary. The key word here is commodity as it means the stripping of something to a base product that you can buy rather like drawing pins, washers or computers.

Every buying decision is based on price,at least that was what they thought. At this time technology was moving on in leaps and bounds and many airlines recognised that here was an opportunity to sell direct to the traveler at prices and payments they could control. In the same way you could argue that airlines thought they could cut out (or at least not pay) the TMC middle man they could also identify a method of getting direct to the traveler.

All change was viewed as progress and in most cases, it was. Except all progress releases a new set of challenges and this is particularly the case when talking travel development. Airlines had got what they wanted and so had travel buyers so what could go wrong? What went wrong was that little cost had gone away, it had just been deflected on to someone else. Who? Well in the main, the traveler was asked to pick up the tab as TMCs were able to prove themselves indispensable.

Why indispensable? Why not book direct? It would be so easy for individual travelers to pick up the phone (or PC) and make their own arrangements. Quite so but many corporations had a different need altogether. That was the need for Travel Management. It may sound crazy but a travel booking is probably less than 10% of what a TMC does in the course of their activities. The rest is everything known as travel management.

On the corporate list of travel essentials were such things as authorisation, booking changes, travel administration and billing/accounting. There is also a need to support preferred airlines that have offered discount prices based on minimum volume, The growing need for 24 hour traveler monitoring and support. What happens if there is a catastrophe somewhere? How and who gets your people out of there? These and more are essential requirements and none of them are free.

So who pays? Not the airlines as they have moved to a commoditised net price. Not the TMC because they are actually providing the service. Not the corporation either. They have welcomed the shift in the payment cycle but are not internally constructed in a way to take on such a cost centrally. They have mainly moved to charging cost centres which means the traveler invariably picks it up.

But hold on a minute. The traveler's primary interest is just 10% of all that. Why should they pay?. And here we have the key issue troubling the industry at this time. Travelers ar looking at their budgets and saying that all they want or can afford is to make a simple booking and travel. Companies are saying OK, but use this TMC and pay their service charge.

The traveller either does it grudgingly or more likely, books through a cheaper means that does not carry these overheads. If nothing goes wrong the traveler wins, at the cost to the TMC and, more importantly their employer. Next time I will tell you about all those cheap (and not so cheap) fares out there.

The Mechanics of Booking Business Travel

Traveling on business is vital to UKPLC and hopefully a pleasant, or passable experience. It takes people out of their everyday lives and awakens many emotions from pride and planning to disappointment and incredulity. Sometimes all of them.
 A booking and its associated journey does not just happen and there are a chain of stakeholders involved in every decision. The traveller needs to go to his company and justify the journey. The company usually goes to a TMC (travel agent) to make the booking and the TMC goes to the supplier who provides the end product. Simple?
 No. Far from it. Each of these players has their own brief, their own methods and, importantly, their own objectives and it is these important elements that few people truly understand. For most travellers it is straightforward. They want to travel at a sensible time, at a very competitive price and they want their tight budget to stretch across the whole year. They also hold a rational view that says why pay for something I can do quickly and cheaply myself.
 The company wants everything the traveller wants plus a lot more. They want a proper authorisation process and detailed total travel management control of the full booking process plus on-going support for travellers on the move.
The TMC wants to do all these things as they depend on the travellers and their employers to pay for their services. They are constantly producing new products and services which they offer, at a price, to their existing and prospective clients. The suppliers? This is the area that has changed the most and the source of greatest ‘misunderstandings’. In the old days they collectively decided to build into their fares a provision for payment to TMCs to cover their expenses.
 As competition ramped up and new no frills airlines arrived they understandably decided this was a burden they could not carry any more. They set out to change the status quo and now most of the mainstream airlines do not subsidise TMC with commissions. As a result airline fares excluded agency payments and went down and the TMCs looked to their clients to pick up the tab for their cost.
 This is where the misunderstanding started. Airline costs went down so they were more competitive and they took on their new foe, the no frill carriers. TMCs went to their clients and told them that instead of sharing their commission with them they would now start submitting bills. You see in those days that is what TMCs did. They won clients based on how much commission they were prepared to ‘share’ with corporations. Now they were saying that it would not be subsidising corporate cost by providing a ‘free/profitable’ service but levying fees instead. But never mind because the airlines would be charging less to cover these ‘costs’.
 Companies had a problem. Travel was relatively low profile as its TMC management was often seen as a profit centre rather than the cost it had become. Many asked their procurement division to make sure they got the best deal out there and meanwhile set about trying to build in this new expense within its budgets.
 The traveller got a shock. Not only was he being wooed by no frills airlines with big marketing budgets but also being expected to pay a ‘handling’ charge to TMCs who were perceived as being unfriendly to these newcomers. It was not very clear that mainline airline fares had lowered and the value of TMCs were questioned in a much more searching way. Remember what the thinking traveller wanted? I do not think that paying a TMC for services that might not be directly relevant or of value to that person came in to it!
What happened next?
 In my next blog.

Thomson Airlines Champagne and Chocolates

One of the most frequent questions asked on my blog is about what size and quantity the champagne and chocolates are on Thomson planes. Why they do not explain it themselves goodness knows but the answers are: Champagne - A full size bottle of reasonable quality. Chocolates - A normal medium size box. Plenty to start your holiday off but surprisingly lightly booked in advance. We really enjoyed ours while others watched and nudged each other. Not sure if that was envy or they were muttering what big drinkers we were. Well it was before 7 A.M. leaving a particularly gloomy Gatwick!

BLOG COMMENT -Hotel branding. What’s it all about?

Quite a few people have been looking at some of my blogs on hotels. Whilst feeling pleased I also asked myself whether I had made myself as clear as possible. In case I haven’t here are some comments that may assist you:
  What is the point of being part of a recognised hotel brand? A. Best description would be economy of scale and also a statement on standards. No major group is going to accept a substandard hotel into their family and most have a clearly defined ‘vision’ on how they wish to be perceived. This covers everything from furnishings to amenities and marketing to performance standards. Having been accepted in a group the primary benefit is that you become part of a much bigger sales and marketing opportunity. There are central promotional funds (mainly consolidated from members) and greater exposure globally.
 The TMC (travel agency)world are far more interested in this type of grouping as it reduces the number of people they have to negotiate with. There are different types of hotel groups. Some private owners are willing to have their hotel name changed to the brand and hand over the management of the property to them too.
 Others go only part way by becoming part of a consortium of like-minded properties. They retain their brand name but market as part of this group. They obviously have to maintain certain standards and contribute financially to the consortium management. There are different levels of consortium with differing standards and requirements.
 Those that decide to ‘go it alone’ have a very different set of challenges. They may fill a particular niche in their own local market but outside that they are unknown. It all depends how much you value being ‘independent’ and how essential (or otherwise) it is to have a broader reach. If you are unique in that there is a big enough local market where you are a major player now and into the future then good for you. Otherwise you may need to think again. Like most business issues it is all about reputation, supply and demand, and resource.

BLOG COMMENT - Car Hire - Pardon?

Who truly understands car hire except those who are in the business of hiring out cars? On one side you have the 'premium' companies such as Avis and Hertz and then, well, everyone else! Unlike airlines the car hire companies offer the same directly comparable means of transport but at different prices. Why? How? After many years in the TMC business I still haven't a clue. Well not really! I expect the bigger companies are global and have a bigger inventory but should they cost so much? OK, so they can (or could) afford to pay middle men incentives to promote them. And they could always leverage their coverage and reputation but even so the price gap is simply too high. So what are they doing about it? I guess they are doing what everyone else is doing i.e. reducing their overheads and becoming more competitive. Or are they? Who knows? Car Hire has started to shift away from travel procurement anyway. Good job too if everyone else understands as little as me.

BLOG COMMENT - Branson's Bile

Submitted by Mike Platt on Thu, 2012-09-13 16:59. It is regretable that Richard Branson seems to have thrown all his toys out of the cupboard over the loss of his West Coast rail contract. I know he can be petulant but this is taking it to extremes. To my mind the process went that the government went out to tender, people bid, bids were evaluated and the successful candidates notified. Quite stanard and quite reasonable. Now I know the government ties itself up in rules and regulations which are further exacerbated by European legislation and this is what I presume Mr Branson is trying to manipulate. I personally have been through all this during the MOD travel tender and, although they thought about it, none of the other contenders considered they would gain in the long or short term by formally objecting to the process. For once I am four square behind the government on this. The fact that the man is Richard Branson should not be enough to drive anyone into a U-turn on such a decision based on price and service. If the successful bidder fails? Well then a review might be necessary and MR B will have his chance again.

BLOG COMMENT- Off the Rails

Selling rail tickets is a real pain....if you are a TMC. First there is the illusion that rail is cheap and second, the illusion that it is easy! I swear it would be easier to accurately predict the weather than consistantly find low prices in peak periods! Poor old TMCs have to provide this service if they wish to offer a full 'one stop shop' package of products. There is no point in saying you will provide lucrative air products and then suggest they do what they like with rail. It just does not fit and invites segmentation of all services. Meanwhile their online rail booking specialist 'partners' sit like vultures on the sidelines ready to zoom in after the kill. These operators such as Trainline and Evolvi in Europe have set up their services to support direct sell at a price. TMCs can only sell at that price plus some. Each tries to negotiate what that 'plus' will be and uses their current 'one stop' offering as a compelling bargaining chip. And the traveler? I can here him now."What,you expect me to pay these people a fee for a RAIL ticket? I can get what I need at the station". They have a point, they can get it at the station if they have the time/inclination to search for it. Rail commision used to pay for a lot of this but that too is diminishing. Oh what joy is net pricing. Then you have the American buyer with their fascination for transaction fees. In the USA most travel is by air but when they buy in Europe they seem to get amnesia over the subject. The travel type percentages are radically different here but they really do not recognise this as an issue. It is. Transaction fees work in the USA. In Europe they don't. The European market is crawling with these fees but they do not really work and TMCs find all sorts of ingenious ways to get round them. Everything from declaring rail bookings as 'free' but hiking air rates to compensate or perhaps outsourcing rail to an online self book service (at higher rates)and charge a small ticketing fee. Somebody really has to do the Maths here and either pay up centrally or give up on your TMC all inclusive service.

BLOG COMMENT - TMC (Agents).

The vast majority of TMCs (even the larger ones) still rely heavily on supplier income despite what they may say. Could you survive and thrive on what you pay them? I don't think so. There are ways and means now to get the definition of these 'incentives' changed so they are not included in any corporate deal. Agents have needed to do this in order to fund central and associated costs plus earn sufficient ROI.

BLOG COMMENT - Buyers and Airlines

The Bald airline facts about business travel. 1/ In the main companies will not mandate travel i.e. they will not say ‘you must use this airline’. They will ask you to but very rarely will they mandate it. It is not in global company nature to do so. 2/ It is practically unheard of for corporations to insist (and follow through) on their travellers using their loyalty miles for business purposes. This has a bearing on fact no 1. 3/ If a corporation is told by a national airline that they no longer have a deal then at least half of their travellers will still fly on that airline. 4/ Buyers may bluster and dictate to airlines but they seem unable to do so in their own business. Procurement is very low in the political pecking chain of any corporation. Internally people may endorse procurement tacitly but not authoratively. 5/ Whilst this situation remains it will be very difficult and perhaps foolhardy to direct connect with just one major airline. I wonder how long it will take before somebody calls the buyers bluff.

BLOG COMMENT- Government Buying

I wonder why it is that Governments buy so very badly? Is it that they want to be so straightforward and politically correct? Or is it that they know no other way to buy? I played a major part in winning an enormous UK government contract and I still persuade myself that I do not want the answer. I am as near as you can get into being in denial as you can without being blatant about it and it makes me feel bad. The process is difficult. In fact, when you get the invitation, the first thing you feel urged to do is throw it in the bin. Why? Because it is so frighteningly 'open' that it discourages one from bidding in case you expose all your benefits to competitor scrutiny. So bad that you fear that following such a track will lead to ultimate demise! You see you have to bite the bullet and bid. Yes, they have processes and yes, they do have disclosure laws but YES, there are ways around this. Governments are complex and very political. they need to be seen to be following processes despite their fear of ridicule, which is why you need to feed them what they need rather than what they want. So bid with impunity. Just provide with integrity. Then you will be OK.

Cephalonia, an Island to Savour – Part One

I just love this place, although I wondered if this affair of the heart would have staying power. The island bewitched me the first time I went and then played hard to get the second time when we stayed in the wrong resort during a two week freak monsoon and fog bank. After all it is hard to ‘have fun’ whilst suffering hypothermia and gazing at redundant swimming pool and sun loungers through condensationed windows.
The place can be as fickle as its signposts and even the locals seem uncertain as to whether it is spelt Cephalonia or Kefalonia. Our particular holiday started like so many others with a two hour drive from Wiltshire to Gatwick Airport. Again, like most holidays the flight departure time was so early that even our wake-up call sounded tired. It was made a little bearable in that we had booked the night before at the Hilton South Terminal Gatwick thus avoiding any risk of oversleeping (we thought).
The Hilton is like any other Airport hotel i.e. legions of travelling folk either in transit or plonked there by their airline for various reasons. On top of them you have over-nighters like us
The hotel reflects its clientele by trying to be the right thing for everyone and, in this case, failing for most. The airlines want to pay next to nothing so they try to serve cheap food at the highest price possible to other customers. The Carvery in the main restaurant displayed this by offering minimal starter (mainly salad) with cheap cuts of meat. I found at least one large rubbery artery hanging out of my cut of lamb .I picked it up by said blood vessel and dangled it before a shocked restaurant manager. It had to go back and, to be fair; they did not dare charge me.
The 'two hotel' bit comes with the rooms. You get the new bit and the old bit. New is mainly exec rooms and old is, well, old and quite horrid. They tend to put all the cheapy airline customers in the old part and the higher payers in the new unless (like most nights) they are full and you then take your chances. Also, if you are a smoker, you are doomed to the worst of the worst. Serves you right you may say but smoker’s money should be as good as anyone else. One day I will have to persuade my wife to stop otherwise we will continue to be shunned or carted off to the darkest recesses of hotel buildings!
The room we had was vile and overlooked the staff car park and an old prefabricated shed. We sought refuge in their ‘Executive Lounge’ but this was full of kids rolling on the floor. At one stage a ‘Buzz Lightyear’ model hurtled past my ear as one little boy was seeing if it could really fly. We could not handle this level of sophistication so off we went to the main bar. There things got a lot better. We started talking to three folk in wheelchairs. They were part of an organisation called BEWSA who are the British Ex-servicemen Wheelchair Sports Association. They were off to compete in an event in the USA and were wholly responsible for me getting drunk and nearly missing our flight. Fortunately I had checked our cases in with Thomson the night before and I would recommend this to anyone who is able to do it. That way it avoids the horrendous queue at check in and enables silly boys or girls like me to have one or two extra pints. It also means they do not weigh your hand baggage at check in.
Have you ever had one of those horrifying moments when you simultaneously wonder a) who you are b) where you are and c) why you feel like a beached whale with heartburn? That was me when the sleepy wake-up call invaded my consciousness and told me enough to realise I had set the time of it wrong. The rest was a blur with both of us running around our ‘palatial’ room like headless chickens. I flung the curtains opened only to terrorise a young lady staff member who was climbing out of her car just below me. Where are my pants I thought?
Have you ever tried to move quickly through an airport? Impossible. You see, normal folk turn into entranced zombies when they are on airport concourses. What is worse is that these stumbling zombies wield suitcases, water bottles, rucksacks and kids around them as the lurch and come to sudden stops for no reason whatsoever. We battered our way through the lot of them remembering the dire warnings given at check-in the night before about how they load and depart their planes sometimes ahead of schedule.
We finally got to the gate. What did we do there? We sat. And then we sat some more. Then we watched the rest of the plane’s passengers slowly amble to the departure area. 45 minutes later they boarded the flight. You see I should have known better. Airlines will always tell you to get to the gate long before you need to. They do it because they know you are going to be late and they don’t want to hang around. Trouble is it becomes rather like those motorway warning signs; one either take no notice or assume they are warning you too far in advance
Our Thomson flight to Argostoli in Cephalonia was pretty uneventful. It took little over three hours which was just about as long as I would be willing to put up with such little leg room. I had made a wrong assumption when booking our specific seats which was that as I had paid to book them I would receive them. This was wrong. If you pay to book specific seats then all you are getting guaranteed is seats next to each other. If you want the exit row then you have to pay more for these extra room seats! If you do as I did which was book the seats that I knew (in that particular aircraft type) were the emergency exit then they reserve the right to move you out of them nearer the flight time – unless you pay more.
Coming back I ended up paying twice to get the seats I had originally booked! We enjoyed our full size bottle of champagne and a fine selection of chocolates that I had pre-ordered on Thomson. The champagne brand would not make Moet et Chandon quake in their shoes but very adequate despite my hangover. We also bought snacks on the plane although the prices were through the roof. We initially laughed when an elderly couple next to us got out their picnic of potted meat sandwiches, pork pie and a thermos of tea but the last laugh was on me...and my wallet when I paid silly money for a bacon baguette.
So we arrived, on time, at Argostoli and not too much the worse for wear. It was hot and sunny and we entered the building in high spirits. It is not the largest of airports but the air conditioning worked well and there were a few places to sit whilst waiting for one’s bags. It was then that I started wondering about the night before bag check in service and whether they had remembered to load our cases the next day.
We waited and waited. Finally the first of our bags spewed onto the carousel. I immediately spotted it was mine not Judith’s which was not good news. Greek baggage handlers must be the slowest in the World and I warn you that you will need to be patient. Time ticked by and no bags were forthcoming. Finally, right at the very end, the last bag popped out and thankfully it was ours. Praise be! Nothing worse than being cloth less in a foreign country, especially as it would have been “all my fault”.
The rest of the formalities on arrival at this airport are minimal and we were soon out the other end without ever knowing if we had been through customs. We decided to pick up a car at the airport and we used a company called CBR which has their office less than 5 minutes stroll from the terminal entrance. I simply wheeled our bags up there and the car was waiting. You can get all types of hire car but I recommend you pick one with a slightly bigger engine due to the steep and winding terrain you may end up driving through.
The island is split up into two tourist parts. The southern coastal strip, which is more open, sandy and populated, and the north which is mountainous, very much quieter and more scenic. The main southern resorts are Scala, Lourdas and Lassi while in the north you have villages and ports like Fiscardo, Assos and Agia Efimia. In the not too distant past there was a significant earthquake on the island which affected the landscape in the south whilst leaving the north almost untouched.
The island is a very relaxing place and the overwhelming number of local people are kind and helpful. If you do pick up a car at the airport you must make sure you have good directions to your destination as the road signs are pretty useless. The airport itself is well signposted but if you are going to say Fiscardo like we were than forget it without a concise guide. You have to skirt around the main town of Argostoni and that is much easier said than done.
Also be aware that if you are on a roundabout you have to give way to any car joining it! The drive from the airport to the villa we were staying at not far from Fiscardo takes about an hour. Once beyond the main town you literally follow the coast northwards on a good quality very winding road built into the cliff face. Overtaking is neither recommended or that possible and coming face to face with a lorry full of locals speeding the other way is always good fun for thrill seekers!
If you have a manual geared car you will have well exercised wrists by the time you get where you are going. Finally watch out for goats as they think they own the road and can stroll in front of you at any time. I was moaning further back about the early flight but its advantage is that flying at 6.30 a.m. means you get out of your car at the villa around 2 p.m. local time which is perfect for gaining access after the maids have cleared up from previous guests. Also, when going home, you can leave the villa around 10 a.m. and have loads of time to get to the airport. Still a blooming awful peak time to fly out from Gatwick, especially if you are checking in bags on the day.
So we arrived at our villa and it was beautiful in every way. Breath-taking views over forests and cliffs, clean sparkling pool with plenty of sun loungers, everything you could want…if you could get in that is. The key was in the door but the door would not open. We were literally stuck outside peering through the windows at what seemed a perfectly renovated cottage. It was called ‘Vigli Retreat’ and unsurprisingly located in the village of Vigli which is perched above the Ionian Sea.
The villas are high enough to catch any breeze but close enough for the short trip to various beaches nearby. We rented it via a company called Unique Villas and were very pleased with our choice of company and location. It would have been even better if we could have got through the front door but eventually I was able to open the rear entrance.
Apart from being well equipped and in a very pretty scenic spot the villa and its location had other virtues. There is a good grocery shop in nearby Maganos and less than ten minutes from there is the beautiful fishing village of Fiscardo which has at least three bigger food stores. On the way to Fiscardo there are at least two excellent restaurants and our favourite was The Stone House who do great spit roasts twice a week on Fridays and Sundays. I will tell you more about Fiscardo later.
Probably like most people the first thing we did was thoroughly inspect the villa and what it contained. Unique Villas provide a small supply of essentials but frankly not enough to see you through a continental breakfast. A complementary bottle of wine was a nice touch but no substitute for bread and butter. I was disappointed that there were a shortage/lack of essentials like kitchen roll, toilet paper, oil and the sort of things that others, like us, leave behind them but Unique Holidays say they are restricted in what they leave by food and hygiene rules. I am not convinced!
The rest of the villa appeared in excellent working order. The air conditioning was extremely effective in both the open plan lounge/kitchen and bedrooms. There was plenty of hot water to go round and the windows opened up to a very pretty well tended exterior.
Like many Mediterranean bedrooms the beds consisted of normal mattresses laid directly on top of boards and took a bit of getting used to. Never mind we thought, we could recover during the day on those brand new sun loungers we saw on the way in. The next day proved a little more taxing. After a night on the hard beds we headed for the sun loungers only to find that they were made of hard plastic and had no mattresses. In fact the only covers of any sort were four small wafer thin seat covers for alfresco dining. It seems strange that someone who has clearly spent so much money on furnishing a villa should skimp on such comfort essentials. We can soon sort this out, I thought.
I decided to wait until the following day (Monday) to call the area rep as I did not want to disturb his weekend. It was then that we discovered Panos. Or ‘Panos the Terrible’ as I nicknamed him afterwards!
The villa has no phone, no Wi-Fi and practically no mobile phone signal so I took the opportunity of ringing on my mobile whilst shopping in Fiscardo where the signal is strong. Also you can pick up free Wi-Fi there. I got through to a very grumpy Panos on the third attempt. It sounded as though he was riding his motorbike at the time judging by the noise and the regular cutting off which he clearly seemed to blame me for.
I tried to tell him about the door and mattresses until he grunted and seemed to hang up. Welcome to Cephalonia I thought. When I got back to the villa I noticed a motorbike that looked half abandoned in the driveway and there was Panos stomping around the corner in all his glory and he did not look happy. He did not seem to grasp the fact that I was not there waiting for him and his mood seemed to deteriorate as I tried to explain about the door and sun beds and the lack of phone signal.. The door issue was quickly solved. You see what I had missed was that because such doors have airtight seals you have to yank them towards you before pushing them forward. This he demonstrated with such gusto that strips of the sealant fell off it. Silly me!
The mattress problem was a bit harder (excuse the pun). We were told in a voice usually reserved for children’s television announcers that the covers for the chairs were also for the sun beds. He then placed the tiny thin cover on one of the beds just to be sure our tiny brains had absorbed this obvious solution. It was like covering an elephant with a teacloth but by this time I just wanted him out of there.
Finally, and with a theatrical shrug of his shoulders he disappeared under the swimming pool and emerged with one of the old sun beds. This was canvas and a little better, but not much.
Anyway, he then headed for the gate and I asked if he had a second one. “You want another” he asked incredulously? “No” I said wearily, that will do. The rest of the holiday we part solved the problem by taking all the blankets out of the villa and putting them under our towels. Goodbye Panos! Would we go back to this villa? Yes, like a shot.
It was beautiful, well equipped, remote but easily accessible. We would insist on the addition of sun bed mattresses and definitely a ban on Panos calling but otherwise it is a brilliant. Late June is a good time to go as well. We had two weeks of warm sunshine and moonlight nights and the pool had time to get nice and warm. We only had one more panic which was when ‘Bongo Bob’ (another nickname) arrived at the villa next door. This villa is usually unobtrusive and silent as it is not rented to foreigners but, for a few days ‘Bob’ arrived with what was possibly the only drum kit in northern Cephalonia.
There we were, drink wine in the pool, basking in those ‘post Panos’ days when the drum roll started followed by cymbals and a backing track. What the hell was that we thought? Fortunately the others in his appreciated his drums as much as we did so we heard them only a few times after if they went out and left him behind. Anyway, back to the Island itself. It really is a special place with fantastic views and very nice people.
Some have worried about going because of possible economic unrest but the Greek Islands might as well be a million miles from Athens where there might be any trouble. They are totally dependent on tourism and do not want to spoil the businesses they have created.
There is a bit more poverty and food does cost a bit more than previous years but not much. You can still change money easily and there is more in the shops (apart from Sun bed mattresses) than in the past. As I said earlier the island really split into two markets.
The south is for bigger beach resorts with plenty going on and the north is all mountains, coves and fishing villages. If you like nightspots the north is probably not for you but if you want coves, sleepy villages, good food and pretty tavernas it is spot on. Some of the places like Myrtos Beach and Assos village are almost breath-taking in their beauty. Fiscardo is a wonderful place which still has its own small fishing fleet which you can lazily watch as you enjoy a drink and meal on the quayside.
It is a wonderful place for people watching too which seems to be the local pastime. I recommend that if you want to watch the world go by then sit at Theodora’s Café/Bar either by the water or on her balcony. You will get great people and a perfect view of all the yachts, boats and people as they pass by. The food here is good but there are loads of other places all around.
You owe it to yourself to go to Cephalonia at least once in your life. It is a wonderful place with kind and warm hearted people. We will certainly be going again.

A Travel Policy’s Biggest Barrier

What is the biggest issue that stands between a policy and its successful delivery? Is it a lack of knowledge or ability in order to create one? Is it uncooperative or unable suppliers or intermediaries? Is it poor uptake or availability of appropriate technology systems? Or is it simply that end users either cannot or will not comply with edicts and have ways of getting around them?

Depending on your own experiences you could say one, some or all of the above but I think you might be missing something even more important. What is this something? It is what I call the three ‘P’s of internal Politics, Procedures and Processes and these have nothing to do with suppliers, intermediaries or individual travellers.

I have seen so many companies invest huge resources and money to create detailed and potentially rewarding travel programmes only to waste much benefit due to the three ‘P’s. Many of them choose not to identify this as the cause as it would not be considered ‘Politically’ correct to do so especially as the issues usually start at board level. A shame really as board level is where any rectifying needs to start.

So what am I actually saying? I believe that internal politics, inflexible procedures and lack of communication processes are the biggest road blocks when it comes to the delivery of a negotiated and delivered travel programme. I am also saying that non compliant travellers are not the biggest villains, it is more likely the messages they are receiving (or in some cases not) from much higher up the business chain of command.

Taking a closer look at any company’s board you can see why problems could occur. Rather like a herd of elephants you have the strong patriarch and around him a chain of command with different interests and abilities. Again, like any herd there is a fair amount of head butting and scheming going on. They all represent different interests from finance to sales, operations to procurement and some hold more sway than others.

Eventually these ‘band of brothers’ agree a policy. But do they really? You can be certain that there will be winners and losers but when it comes to something as emotive as travel they seem less inclined to feed their solidarity down the line. In some areas there can be a visible lack of zeal and that is all it takes to undermine a policy. Particularly when there are so many practical ways of getting around it.

Many companies end up with a policy that has been presented by procurement who are by no means top dog (or elephant!) at the board table, which is not satisfactory to all and then they have to communicate it to a sometimes incredulous work force. This is where we come to the second closely linked ‘P’ of procedures. Who is allowed to say what to whom and what are the ‘P’ for processes for doing it. How much can you or can’t you say about your decisions? How much should you justify them? How much should you mandate them?

Let us say those wise old elephants have at least given tacit support to the policy. Who is going to sponsor it and keep on the agenda as the process develops? Who is going to go to senior directors and ask them to pull their folk into line? How are those messages going to transmit through a company that, possibly, apart from payroll has no appropriate method for these types of communication?

My message to corporations is a simple one. Sort yourself out at the top. Put into place procedures and processes and only then consider the creation of a policy that is going to be committed to and enforced across the whole employee base. This will save you more than any supplier or intermediary will.

The Longest Flight Home

Sometimes all you want is your own bed in your own house, especially towards the end of a hurried and stressful business trip. I certainly felt like that as I sat in a dull lounge at Los Angeles airport waiting for them to announce the flight back to London and home.

This trip had come fast after a previous one to Sao Paulo and it had not been long ago that I had been insane enough to fly from London to Australia for a day meeting then back. My body did not know where it was and my stomach didn’t know what it wanted. Certainly not the pretzels I was absently chewing, hastened downwards by a vicious Bloody Mary.

Never mind, I thought as the call finally came, the flight would be long and I would soon be getting the sleep I craved for. To my joy they upgraded both me and a conference colleague at the gate into First Class with its flat bed seats and comfy pyjamas. This is going to be just great I thought as I walked into the dimly lit soothing cabin. I was given a glass of champagne and led to my wide and welcoming armchair.

Now I never have trouble sleeping on aircraft, never. As soon as the plane took off and reached altitude I flattened my seat, collected a few stray pillows and dived under the duvet I had found in the overhead locker. My seat was cosily positioned, on its own, at the front of the plane.

Having announced to the nearest cabin crew that I did not want drinks, dinner or any other kind of service until breakfast I donned my eye shades,slid down the seat and fell into an immediate and beautiful dreamless sleep. What seemed like only a few seconds later a great big soft something crashed on top of me. I thought I was being suffocated by a giant marshmallow until I lifted my shades enough to see that the crew had dropped the rest of the duvets on top of me.

After receiving profuse apologies I drifted off once more and this lasted about ten minutes before I woke feeling a tentative hand pressing gently but persistently on my arm. I must have jerked upright suddenly because reeling back in front of me was a scared looking steward. He was talking but I heard nothing as the engines were roaring and I had taken out my hearing aids to sleep. Just a moment I grumbled as I groped around the seat in a semi stupor searching for them. They had disapeared.

Eventually my errant aids were retrieved by using to biros from where they had lost themselves in the mechanical interior of the seat and I put them on. “Yes” I said? “Tell me sir, will you be dining with us this evening” he asked with a beguiling innocent grin. “No I bloody will not” I grunted as I tried to wrestle back my duvet that had dispersed itself while I had searched for my aids.

I was getting even more tired and emotional but thankfully I managed to drift off again. Then the screeching started. Then it stopped. Then it started again. Was I dreaming? No, too loud for that. What the hell was it? I had forgotten to take my damn hearing aids back out and every time I rolled over the compression had made them screech. Only if you wear such aids do you know how unpleasant and wakeful that sound is.

Over the next hour or so I cat napped. I thought I had been clever getting seat 1A but the reverse was true. On this 747 seat 1A is right next to a big cupboard/hanging wardrobe and this one had a sticky door. Every time anyone wanted something from there they had to yank the door which made a sharp snapping sound. Then they would rummage around like noisy mice!

By this time I was past sleeping. Desperately tired yes, able to sleep? Definitely not. I tried everything. Lying this way, lying that way, on my back, the good old foetal position, but no luck. What really annoyed me was by this time everyone else had eaten their meals and gone to sleep. I was probably the only person awake and the crew had done their amazing disapearing act they always do on night flights.

There was the sound of snoring coming from all over the cabin, especially from the small frail old lady in the seat behind. I became fascinated by her as she had a great snoring action. She was as white as a corpse and her head was thrown back. Rather like the sound of a wave rushing into shore her mouth would open and then, when it could go no further the snore would come belowing out like a great breaker. The vibrations caused her false teeth to rattle around in her mouth. Fascinating stuff if you are that desperate!

How I envied them all. I was more exhausted than the lot of them combined but my brain refused point blank to shut down. In the end I gave up trying and decided to pick a boring old film from the I.F.E. system and see if that would help me sleep. It usually works at home, I thought to myself. I selected ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ as that seemed to describe the scene pretty well.

It did not work. I got into it instead. There I was, a grown man blubbing like a child as Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (I think) came together. I must have looked a sad sight as an air hostess, who appeared from nowhere, must have seen me and brought over a cup of tea and a box of Kleenex tissues. Not my biggest alpha male moment and not conducive to sleep either.

By this time the flight was half over and any sleep I had snatched was not the restful type. However all that changed when the guy I was at the conference with woke up to use the wash room. “Can’t sleep”? he asked as he stretched luxuriantly. “No” I grunted. “Try these tablets, they are great” he said passing me a blister pack of pills. “Take a couple if you think you need them” he suggested. Now I do not usually take any kind of pills but I swallowed two of them out of desperation. They were high dosage Temazepam.

I fell into an immediate and spectacularly deep sleep for a very long time. In fact it was longer than the flight. Nobody could wake me. The crew tried, even the captain had a go. The old lady poked me with her knitting needle and someone tried cold water but nothing would revive me. They needed to land the aircraft but they had to do something with me first. In the end they put my seat upright and let me hang in it, bent double by the seat belt.

I was still in my drugged sleep after the plane landed and everyone else had disembarked. Eventually they got enough life out of me to manhandled me off the plane I still had my airline pyjamas on as nobody was prepared to change me! They left me in a plastic seat by the jetty along with my clothes on a hanger where I slept another two hours. At least one other plane load of passengers disembarked at that gate and walked past I heard one say “he must be drunk, disgraceful”!

I finally struggled awake, grabbed my things and ran to a toilet still dressed in my grey 'sleep suit'. Somehow I got myself to my car where I slept for another hour until I was awake enough to drive home. I got home and went to bed.
And then? I couldn’t sleep!

Travelling with the Stars - Naomi Campbell

What with all the regular publicity about the lovely Naomi I thought I should award her an exclusive in my humble blog. Like they say in those wonderful cosmetic advertisement ‘She’s worth it’.

I have flown with Naomi three times and got hugged by her once. Not bad averages really, especially as she was in her pyjamas at the time. Let me explain.

The first two times I saw her were on Concorde (naturally). There I was sitting at the back of the cabin with one of the only two remaining empty seats next to me. The flight was clearly being delayed for someone and suddenly she was there. She glided through the door flowing along with tight pants and a sheer silk blouse that left zero to the imagination. You could have heard a pin drop as she sasheyed further towards me and I thought ‘oh my, she is going to sit next to me. At the very last moment she gave me what I then thought was a shy and coquettish smile and……walked straight past. Behind her was an enormous Texan with a gut like a zeppelin who levered himself into the seat next to me, smiling knowingly saying “I guess this ain’t your day son”.

I have to say though Ms Campbell was sensational in that she is one of not too many that looks far better live than she does on the cover of a glossy magazine. She also seemed to have a skill that turns tough international business travellers into fawning lap dogs. “Do let me get your bag off the carousel Ms Campbell”, Let me help you with that Ms Campbell” “Where are you staying in New York Ms. Campbell”. And that was only me. The other passengers were far worse! My last view of her on that occasion was seeing this vast luggage belt with all the male Concorde passengers plus Naomi jammed in one small area as they all vied to carry her Louis Vuitton overnight bag.

My last brush with Naomi was really weird. I was sitting in seat 1A on a flight to Sao Paulo and just before the doors closed I was asked if I would move back a seat to 2A. Reason given was they had a VIP boarding and she always insists on 1A so as not to be bothered by anyone. Being an amiable soul I agreed to move and on wafted the lovely Naomi once more and plonked herself in my ex seat. She then proceeded to talk simultaneously on two phones and a blackberry while we taxied to the runway. She was finally asked to stop by a rather wary air hostess as the engines revved for take-off.

Once in the air she was straight in the toilet and emerged about 20 minutes later dressed in a pair of those grey BA first class pyjamas and a face covered in cream. On any one else it would have appeared awful but on her she looked 1 million dollars. I guess that is why she is still one of the world’s top models. She would make a potato sack look classy.

She obviously planned to go straight to sleep and, as I had a flight load of work to do, I popped round to her side and asked if the light would bother her. She reacted as if I had poked her with a cattle prod by recoiling back, muttering something incoherent and looking the other way. Having faced that apparently hostile response I slunk back to my lonely seat and grappled out my PC and spent the next four hours preparing numerous emails about very little.
Suddenly something changed. I could see a dark grey shadow moving towards my small pool of light preceded by the smell of a heavenly and expensive perfume. It was Naomi. Next thing I had been grabbed and clutched to her bosom. Am I hallucinating I wondered? Should I have stopped at two brandies after dinner? But no, it really was Naomi Campbell suffocating me in a most original but not entirely unpleasant way. She finally released me and said huskily that I had been very nice to her earlier on and “thank you”. Wow I thought, maybe some sections of the media were wrong about her and she was a sweet thing really.

I drifted off to a perfumed sleep and woke on the final approach to Sao Paulo. What woke me were Naomi’s phones, all of them, and she was going ballistic at some poor soul on the other end of one of them. She was demanding to know where he was, who he was with and threatening to get the next plane home. This was before her flight in had even landed and none of the crew seemed inclined or brave enough to tell her to stop.

We got to the gate and set off for the baggage hall. By this time Naomi was screaming at people demanding her bags NOW so she could check in for the return flight. The fuss she created was so great that security was called and I beat a hasty retreat through customs.

The next morning I was having breakfast and listening to the news when her name came up again. The newsreader was saying how Naomi Campbell had collapsed apparently ill at Sao Paulo airport and was rushed to a Brazilian hospital to have an emergency cyst operation. So that is what it was all about I thought. Or was it? Life is never boring when flying with Naomi Campbell.

Low Cost Airlines - Honeymoon Over?

The other day I spoke to a friend who had always been a massive supporter of European low cost/no frills airlines. He looked pretty annoyed and moaned about the fact that many of the deals that used to be around no longer exist. He also could not understand why he now has to do a lot of the work for them such as online check-in etc yet pay for almost every extra you can think of. Why, he said should I do all the work yet more often than not have to pay an administration fee.

It seems to me that more people than just my friend are falling out of love with these airlines. One person put it quite emotionally by saying he felt ‘betrayed by these so called ‘people's champions’. Having been in the business for many years I was surprised that folk could believe that these airlines were working in anything else but self interest but I guess if one looks at some of their past marketing and newspaper publicity one might understand.

I have my own views on this sector of the market and, as he asked my opinion I gave it. This is what I said:

OK, this is how I think the low cost airline model works:
They start a route on the stack them high and sell them cheap basis. They cut their costs to the bone and undercut the prices of any competition from the big boys. This works for a year or two until they have got hold of as many passengers they can on that route. Then their problems start.

You see, like all business they need to generate increased year on year profits but where is that increase going to come from? After all, their costs have already been stripped to the basics. They struggle to increase passenger numbers because they have already cornered their share of the market. Also this share is being attacked by the major carriers who have adjusted their prices to compete on the same ‘net plus extras’ model.

So the only way to please their investors is to enter new markets (they are already established in the best ones) and get more money from existing passengers. How do you get more money from them? Well you check your stats, booking patterns, peak flights and increase fares on those services that are popular (good timings etc) up to the highest level they think they can get away with. Then they look elsewhere amongst ancillary costs such as credit card fees, airport service 'frills' and start charging for them. When the authorities catch up with those they feel unacceptable they move these charges to a grey area described as 'admin fees'. On top of this they try to sell their customers non airline services like car hire and hotels and then go to these suppliers and negotiate special commissions for giving them business.

So the issue is that they have to keep growing in order to keep their share price up. Great in the old days but hard now they are established. The only good thing about this is that, as a result prices are finally becoming much more transparent so you can choose what you are going to get i.e. you can pick poor timings on less popular routes and still pay a low fare. As mentioned earlier these companies sell through big time marketing campaigns which mean they will still offer the occasional mega headline grabbing deals here and there.
The thing to remember is these airlines work on the basis that they do not want you to pay less than the maximum you are prepared to spend and they are finding out what that sum is in all sorts of clever ways. One could argue they are more pirates than charities!

Travel Supply Chain Intelligence

It has never ceased to surprise me how little time the chain studies its partners, clients and perceived competitors. They are all intertwined in activities right the way from the traveller to the front end supplier yet history demonstrates that they do not understand the people they depend on or those they want to replace.

A good example would be say an airline that wants to replace a TMC or GDS which is quite topical at the moment. Now the black and white capability is there in the shape of enabling technology but the real world is in colour and of different shades and complexity. Technology systems are the beginning of the road not the end of it, an enabler not the solution. But some folks just plough on anyway and seem genuinely shocked at the push back

I am convinced this happens because the players have not set the right priorities into understanding all of the things the other components do. Instead they blindly follow their ‘ideal scenario’ strategy and attempt to bludgeon it into the marketplace. Sometimes this just might work in parts but the risk of fall-out is great with the potential of lasting commercial or competitive damage. They should also realise by now that the other members in the chain are anticipating their moves and building detours and opportunities around them.

These thoughts are not here to try and dissuade the chain from evolving and diversifying, after all that is progress. What I am saying instead is that this industry needs to understand itself and its component parts a lot clearer. For example, has any airline ever taken the time (and at the right level) to examine what it’s ‘partners’ do in detail? To sit down and better evaluate the chain reaction of planned strategy and thereby have answers to the issues that will surely arise? They might even find ways that benefit, or at least soften the blow to the rest of the industry.

The way some current players go about change is simply not savvy. They know what they want and charge at it, usually with disappointing results. A bit more thought, understanding, broader knowledge and early dialogue just might form a better basis for progress. And for heavens sake remember that the world has multi markets, technologies languages and cultures. Head offices in their ‘ivory towers’ in the USA, UK, Germany and The Far East can pontificate and plan as much as they like but to little avail if their decisions simply are unworkable elsewhere. Instead they can do major damage.

So my plea is to stop, think, research a great deal, understand the players/competitors better and look way beyond the first hurdle and towards the end-game. I still maintain that the major industry bodies should be driving this understanding. Perhaps if they had less back slapping, money making, selling type conferences and more distribution, supply chain summits they would make a bigger contribution.

ASK me a QUESTION

If any or all of you have any questions that you think I might be able to answer then do not hesitate to ask either via the response facility below or direct to me on mike.platt@mpaassociates.co.uk

If I can I will give an educated and useful response. If not then I will tell you so.
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No snags, no advertising no nothing. I just love travel and still want to contribute something if I can.